In the Presence of the De-Sacralized and the Disappointing or The Dom in Köln

"Disappointments measure how great our hopes once were." So wrote the famous French author, Honore de Balzac. His characters were typically young men losing their illusions, understanding the world to be a den of thieves.

I think he was on to something. 

For me, Europe has proven to be a bit of a disappointment (and a den of thieves). And it's not that I was disappointed all at once.

No. 

Everything is gradual. 

I suppose this recent climax of disgust has a lot to do with my visit to the Dom in Cologne. I had visited beautiful and quiet churches and cathedrals in The Netherlands and Belgium but found this sacred space to be less so.

First things first, it's right beside the main train station. You walk in and everyone and their iphone-savvy grandchild and grandmother is snapping a photograph. The interior erratically flickers with flashes. It's like looting accept they are stealing the solemnity through their actions. Another world heritage site checked off. Here take a picture of the family in front of the nativity scene. Great. Great. Now you can go home and show your idiot relatives what everyone else is showing their idiot relatives.

I walked around but didn't take a picture. Why bother? I could see the place's beauty but it felt gutted out, like an animal on a butcher's block. There was nothing moving about the place anymore. The horde had gotten here first.

And horde doesn't mind paying or so it seems.  

If you want to walk to the top of the belfry, it costs you a few euros. To stow your coat or backpack in a locker is five euros.

You have to go to the bathroom, that's 0.50 euros thank you. 

If you want to visit the treasury, another five euros. Danke schon. 

But god, the bathrooms in Europe. I can understand the train stations. A lot of dirty people are coming and going, a lot of riff raff. Better to keep an eye out. But then I went to the movie theatre in Antwerpen. Nine euros to see a film. Sure, the seats were comfortable and the screen was big (they are in the cinema) but get this, I had to pay 0.40 euros every time I had to pee. I wish I knew this before I drank that beer in the pub. 

But nine euros. Don't you think that should cover the right to use the toilet?

Getting back to Cologne, walking around the beautiful but de-sacralized cathedral, there are beggars and other types milling about. I saw a Muslim woman bent over her cane, bare foot, holding out a paper cup. In the square, just as I was leaving, an Asian woman approached me - perhaps East Indian or Pakistani - and held out a rose to me. I was about to ask, for me when I thought better. Distrusting her, I told her I didn't have any money. She shook her head and walked away. 

What the hell? Whatever happened to asking people if you want to buy something. You just don't hold something out, a gesture of giving and expect something. (Fuck you lady and your fake gesture of good will...).

This whole continent is on the take. Especially when it comes to your bladder and bowel.

I think I need to get away from the cities. The cities bring out the worst, the greediest, the darkest in people. I've always noticed that wherever people go, you'll find a wake of their debris. Beauty is often eroded by the presence of humanity. The less people, the better.

I'm here in Cologne for a couple of days but I think I'll sneak into a museum or two and ignore the morass of civilization. The rest of the tourists here can go fuck themselves.